For high performers and the people they love
You can't find more time. That was never the problem.
Research on couples where one partner works long hours found something unexpected. The damage to the relationship wasn't from your long hours. It came from the stress she was feeling. And she associates that stress with you. Which means the thing you actually need to move isn't your calendar. You need to change your approach.
Why nothing has worked yet
Every other couples program is based on talking, not doing.
You talk about the stress. You talk about what you each need. You leave with a clearer understanding of a problem you still physically have.
Stress doesn't live in the conversation. It lives in your shoulders, your lower back, and hers. You can understand your stress completely and still be carrying it when you get into bed.
This is touch therapy. It is applied with your hands, in your own house, on a schedule. Every step physically interrupts the pattern rather than describing it. The hand massage does it. The evening routines do it. The full body work does it.
Actions speak louder than words. That is the entire design principle behind this program.
Works on what you say to each other. Fifty minutes a week, in an office, discussing the week you just had. Valuable, and slow, and it ends when the hour does.
Works on what your bodies are holding. Nine minutes, at home, on a Tuesday. You learn a skill you keep, and the effect is something she feels the same night.
The communication work is built on real research
The conversation still matters, and we don't leave it to chance. The communication and repair sections of the program draw on the research of Drs. John and Julie Gottman, whose observational studies of thousands of couples produced one of the most extensively validated bodies of evidence in the field. They identified the specific patterns that predict which relationships hold and which ones come apart.
Those findings are built into how each session is structured, so the talking part has a shape instead of being improvised at the worst possible moment.
hi® is an independent program and is not affiliated with or certified by The Gottman Institute.
The mechanism
Chronic tension suppresses the nerves that tell you to relax.
- Chronic tensionshoulders, lower back, hips
- Pressure on the nerve pathwaysvagus, sacral, plexus
- Harder to downshiftshallow sleep, short fuse
- Your body tenses harderand the cycle starts again
The muscle groups hi® is shaped to reach are the ones sitting over major parasympathetic pathways. Across the shoulders and behind the neck, where branches of the vagus nerve run. Down the lower back, over the sacral parasympathetic nerves. Across each buttock, where the sacral plexus sits.
Chronic tension in those areas can put pressure on the same nerves responsible for signalling your body to stand down. When the brake system is the thing under strain, relaxation gets harder to reach. That produces more tension, which puts more strain on the same pathways.
Two people running that cycle in the same house, for years, is the physiology underneath "we've become roommates."
hi® is shaped to reach those specific areas, and the protocols target them deliberately. Six US and international patents cover both the device and the methods.
Why the amplitude matters
Most percussion tools hit hard and stop near the surface. The hi® amplitude is calibrated to resonate with connective tissue, so it travels further into the body while feeling gentler on the skin.
Seven percussion speeds. Seven vibration speeds, independently controlled. Corded power, so a session ends when you decide it does rather than when a battery does.
The part most programs miss
Touch with an expectation attached is worse than no touch at all.
Couples under this much load stop touching each other in ways that don't ask for anything.
When touch does come back, it usually arrives with something attached to it. She feels that immediately. It reads as a transaction, she braces, and the tension in the room goes up rather than down. He concludes that touching her makes things worse, and stops trying.
This program begins by rebuilding touch that carries no hidden agenda. Seven nights, ten minutes each, nothing asked in return. That is the entire first step, and it is deliberate.
A design decision that solves a human problem
It works through clothing.
That matters more than it sounds like it should. Undressing for a massage is a real barrier for a lot of women. And any routine that needs oils, a table, and a shower afterward is a routine that gets skipped on a Tuesday.
Over clothing means she can say yes in whatever she's already wearing. Lower barrier, less bracing, and the work lands better because of it.
A question worth sitting with
Why did the two of you get together in the first place?
Ask it honestly and the answer is almost never something either of you said. You did things together. You went places. You had fun. You paid active attention to each other, and it was easy, because nothing else was competing for it.
Then children arrived, or the job got serious, or a parent got sick. Every one of those is a legitimate reason. And every one of them costs the same thing: the attention you used to spend on each other.
Sixteen years and several thousand couples, and this is the pattern nearly every one of them describes. No betrayal. No fight that went too far. A slow reallocation of attention, one reasonable decision at a time, until neither of you can remember the last thing you did together that you both looked forward to.
Somewhere in there a belief settles in that married people don't date. It is wrong, and it is the most expensive idea in the house.
Something physical you both enjoy. On a night you both know is coming. Twice a week, nine minutes, and neither of you wants to skip it.
Actions speak louder than words here. They always did.
Why it has to be something you do
A scheduled conversation about your relationship is a chore, and it will get cancelled for a work thing. A scheduled hour where one of you gets a professional-grade massage is not a chore, and it doesn't get cancelled.
That's the whole trick. The program works because both people want the thing on the calendar, which means it actually happens week after week. Everything else follows from the fact that it keeps happening.
How it actually starts
Four steps. The first two are free.
You don't buy anything to begin, and neither of you commits to a program on day one. You start with a note, and she decides.
The Invitation
A guided builder walks you through five questions and assembles a note in your own words. It acknowledges something specific, asks rather than promises, and makes the request small enough that saying yes costs her nothing. It also states plainly that this isn't about sex and isn't a trade, because that is the objection she has and nobody addresses it.
The Seven Nights
Seven evenings, ten minutes each, hand massage only. No device needed. A two-minute video arrives each afternoon so you know exactly what to do that night. You are competent at this on night one, and she feels the difference immediately.
The Eight Dates
Eight weeks, one evening each. Every date has a name, a set duration, and a setup that takes under ten minutes. Two things are happening at once. Each evening teaches a relationship skill built into the activity rather than lectured at you, and each one builds a stage of the hi® Intimacy Massage, a technique that came out of Dr. McGough's doctoral research in clinical sexology and works as powerfully for men as it does for women.
They are also good evenings in their own right, which is the part men don't expect. You don't have to want to plan dates. You need eight of them that come with instructions.
The Connection Program
The hi® System arrives, along with sixteen weeks of guided training built for people who don't have an hour. Two to three minute audio sessions you finish on the drive to work. Weekly live classes. A private community with certified hi® instructors. The $97 comes off the price.
The training
Sixteen weeks, built for someone with no free hours.
One short session per weekday, delivered each morning. Audio first, so you finish it in the car. Every Friday ends with one specific thing to do together over the weekend. Take the weeks that apply to you and skip the ones that don't.
Orientation
Setup, the agreement between you, and your first techniques.
Evening recovery
The wind-down routine and why the parasympathetic side matters.
Sports recovery
Upper body, lower body, and pressure points for training days.
The 3-Step Method
Nine minutes, twice a week. The centre of the whole program.
Pelvic wellness
Education-based routines for men and women. No medical claims.
Lymphatic flow
The drainage routine and the acupressure points behind it.
Feet
A seven-step routine for yourself, and one for your partner.
Hands
Hand and forearm work, plus the acupressure points that matter.
Full body
How to give a massage that stands up next to professional work.
Stress and anxiety
Polyvagal techniques, sleep, and the points that calm quickly.
Pressure points
Three acupressure routines, plus morning QiGong for circulation.
Self care
Restoring your own arms, back and hips. Built for therapists too.
Longevity
Stress, oxytocin, cortisol, and the nightly routine around them.
Shared vision
Channeling drive into a goal the two of you hold together.
First Step for Fertility
Our own story, and the routine that came out of it.
Meditation
Coherence practice, and a technique for catching the spiral early.
Live every Saturday
These aren't pre-recorded videos. Every Saturday at 1:00 PM Eastern, Dr. Steve and Wendy McGough teach live on Zoom, demonstrate technique, and answer whatever is on your mind.
Drop in the weeks you can and skip the ones you can't. Anonymous attendance is welcome, and many members use a pseudonym for questions they'd rather not attach their name to.
What comes out of it
Two people, two different sets of reasons.
A program that only works for one of you doesn't get done. Here is what each of you is actually getting, in plain terms.
You stop guessing
- Something to do, instead of something to feel bad about A defined protocol with a start, an end, and a result you can see the same night.
- Faster recovery between training sessions Percussion tuned to connective tissue, plus lymphatic routines that target the junctions doing the clearing after a hard day.
- Deeper sleep, and the recovery that depends on it The evening routine works the muscle groups over the parasympathetic pathways, so the wind-down happens in your body rather than only in your head.
- A wife who isn't braced when you walk in The thing that changes first is her physical state. Everything else follows from that.
- A method for getting on the same page The shared vision work gives the two of you one goal you're both actually pulling toward, instead of two separate lists.
- Drive pointed at your work instead of leaking out of it The focus material is the part nobody teaches. It's why the same effort produces more in the weeks you're running it.
You get to receive something
- Twenty minutes where nothing is asked of you You decide each night whether you want it. That's the entire ask, and it doesn't change later.
- The tension handled, at home, over your clothes Shoulders, neck, lower back and feet. No table, no oil, no appointment, no getting undressed.
- Easier evenings and deeper sleep The same routines that help him wind down work on you, and most couples notice this one first.
- Recovery from your own training The sports and lymphatic work isn't a men's program with a couples section bolted on. It's built for both of you.
- A way to say what you need without it turning into a fight The communication work is structured, drawn from the Gottman research, and it happens at a planned moment rather than at the worst one.
- A partner who learned a skill rather than promised to try harder Sixteen weeks of practice is a different kind of evidence than an apology.
Every one of these is taught in the standard $499.95 program. The Guided tier and the cohort cover the same material in more depth, with someone watching how it's going in your particular situation and adjusting it.
Ways in
Do this yourself, or have an expert guide you through it.
The Connection Program
- The hi® System, with accessories and the extension cord
- Sixteen weeks of drive-time training
- Weekly live classes with Dr. Steve and Wendy
- Private community and certified instructor access
- Onboarding session with a certified hi® instructor
The Connection Program, Guided
- A certified hi® instructor checks in with you personally at every stage
- Two live sessions with both partners: full onboarding, and a check-in at the four week mark
- Personal video guidance at weeks 1, 8, 12 and 16, answering your specific situation
- The full relationship curriculum: communication, rhythm and desire, shared vision
- Everything in the standard program
The 12-Week Cohort
- Twelve weeks, live, with Dr. Steve and Wendy each week
- Capped at twelve couples, and the cap is real
- Advanced work beyond the core program
- Cohorts run two to three times a year
One on one relationship coaching
Some situations don't fit a curriculum. If there is history between you that needs handling directly, or if one of you is much further along than the other, private coaching gives you a coach whose entire attention is on your relationship. No cohort, no group call, no waiting your turn while someone else's problem gets solved. Every session is built around what is actually happening between the two of you, and the plan changes as you do.
Availability is limited, so we take applications rather than bookings. That way we can tell you honestly whether we're the right fit before anyone spends money.
A second hi® unit can be added to either program at checkout for $299, so neither of you has to wait or get up. Free US shipping. Thirty day money back guarantee.
What's included
A premium tool, plus thousands of dollars in training.
One time. No subscription. Free US shipping. Thirty day money back guarantee.
Why trust any of this
Built over sixteen years, not sourced from a catalogue.
Global Top 50 Innovators
Lifespanning Magazine named Dr. Steve McGough one of its Global Top 50 Innovators for health and wellness innovation.
US & international patents
Covering both the device and the methods, in the US, Canada, Australia and the European Union.
Years of clinical work
Developing the hi® method since 2009, with several thousand women and couples.
Doctorates in human sexuality
Drs. Steve and Wendy McGough, IASHS, focused on clinical sexology. Neuroscience research at Wake Forest.
Independently reviewed and physician recommended
hi® carries the Lifespan Certified mark from the Lifespanning group, granted after their validation board of scientists and longevity experts reviewed the product for scientific grounding and ethical standards.
The device is built and tested to CE, FCC, SGS and UL standards.
Dr. Clyde Corey, MD · Board-Certified Urologist, Texas Regional Urology
Why we built this
hi® started with a tragedy. It became a miracle.
hi® was created at the lowest point of our lives, after Wendy and I lost our first child. She had terrible tissue adhesions from the surgery, and a grief that left her body holding tension no therapist could reach. I built hi® to help her recover.
What started as one tool to help my wife became sixteen years of work with thousands of couples, and six patents on a system that does what nothing else on the market can.
Wendy used hi® daily for her health. We were told we would never have children again. We have a wonderful daughter.
We still use hi® to relax. We have been happily married for over twenty-five years. As with hi® and our training, we live what we teach.
There is one more thing we are working toward. We are funding our own research into women's pelvic health, starting with urinary incontinence and urinary tract infections, because the conventional funding path was closed to us and we decided to build the evidence ourselves rather than wait. This company is how that gets paid for.
Dr. Steve & Wendy McGough, Founders, hi®
Straight answers
The questions men actually ask.
She'll think I'm doing this to get sex.
She might. That's a reasonable thing for her to think, and it's the exact reason the program is built the way it is.
The first seven nights ask nothing in return. Not as a technique, and not as a delay. Touch with a price attached is part of what got you here, and rebuilding requires proving otherwise for long enough that she believes it.
The note you send her says so in plain words. That's the point of starting there.
How is this different from couples therapy?
Therapy works on the conversation. This works on the body, on a schedule, with something specific to do tonight. The communication material we do include is built on the Gottman research rather than improvised.
They aren't in competition, and plenty of people do both. But if you have already tried talking and the tension is still in the room at 10pm, the conversation wasn't the missing piece.
I genuinely don't have time for a sixteen week program.
The daily training runs two to three minutes and it's audio first, so it happens on your commute rather than in an evening you don't have.
The practice itself is nine minutes, twice a week. The free first step is ten minutes a night for seven nights. If ten minutes isn't available, the problem is larger than a program can solve, and it's worth saying that plainly.
What if she says no to the note?
Sometimes she will. There's a short audio in the free step about exactly this, because how you handle a no matters more than the note did.
The short version: accept it without arguing, leave it alone for two weeks, run the recovery routines on yourself, and ask once more. Pushing is what confirms her read of the situation.
Does it actually help with training recovery, or is that a bonus?
It's the same mechanism, which is why both are in one program. The percussion amplitude is calibrated to resonate with connective tissue, so it travels further while feeling gentler. The lymphatic routines target the junctions that clear metabolic waste after training.
Sports recovery, lymphatic work and full body technique are weeks three, six and nine. Many owners arrive for recovery and stay for everything else.
Will this change our physical relationship?
Physical intimacy is a subset of massage. The skills are the same ones: reading what someone's body is telling you, adjusting without being asked, staying attentive for twenty minutes without your mind somewhere else, and being able to say what you want in a way the other person can hear.
Sixteen weeks of practising exactly those things, twice a week, with someone you're married to. Couples tell us those skills don't stay in the living room.
We don't promise it and we don't lead with it. It's a consequence of the work rather than the point of it, and the program is built to be worth doing either way.
Can I pay monthly?
Yes. PayPal Pay Monthly splits the $499.95 across six or twelve months, which works out to roughly $83 or $42 a month. You choose at checkout, and approval takes a moment.
Free US shipping and a thirty day money back guarantee apply either way.
Start here
Massaging your partner to help them feel better, expecting nothing in return, says something words can't. Here, actions speak far louder.
The first step is a note. You write it with a guided builder, she reads it, and she decides. Nothing is purchased and no card is entered. If she says yes, the seven nights begin the same week.